:c i’m so sorry for what you’re going through! listen, most people will say to just rethink your relationship and most likely end it. i think you should keep this relationship and try your best to make it healthy again! i can really tell you love this girl a lot. i don’t want anyone to loose someone dear to them, because i know it from the past that it hurts so much. back then, i was best friends with these numerous people. we had a long distance friendship, but it lasted for about 6 months. then, everyone suddenly just split up. i’m one to cling towards the past, and miss people that i should not. i really still miss them, even now.. i don’t want you to face that type of sadness! once your girlfriend is available at a certain time, tell her how you feel. trust should be one of the important priorities in a relationship. try to work things out with her and you, try to schedule some times for each of you to talk! schedule back up times if necessary, in case she abruptly has to do school work, or something else. in your perspective, i can tell that this relationship is very deep and beautiful. you love her so dearly, and it’s been a while since i’ve seen that in someone. if you can’t work things out…i’m deeply sorry. :c i really hope things will become better between you and her. this post was here for a long time, so i might be too late. if you and your girlfriend worked things out, and your relationship is active again; i’m extremely happy for you, and i hope you continue to be this way with her! if it does not, then i’m deeply sorry. :( 3 wishing you the best!
For those who believe in God, most of the big questions are answered. But for those of us who can’t readily accept the God formula, the big answers don’t remain stone-written. We adjust to new conditions and discoveries. We are pliable. Love need not be a command nor faith a dictum. I am my own god. We are here to unlearn the teachings of the church, state, and our educational system. We are here to drink beer. We are here to kill war. We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us.
When someone is in your heart, they’re never truly gone. They can come back to you, even at unlikely times.
I don’t hate people. I just feel better when they aren’t around.
You used to be so expressive as a child. You loved to dance, to draw, I was impressed by how many expressions a mere child was able to show. I look at you now, but you’re not even a shadow of the past you. It’s like you’re trying to not be here at all, like you want to be invisible so bad. It’s so obvious, when you’re as expressionless as you are now, but you’ve become so good at acting, that almost nobody notices it. On the inside, all you care about, is how people might look at you, how people think about you, and it’s the only thing that fills your mind. You wear dark clothes to not draw any attention to yourself. You have your headphones on all the time in order to silence, what you think might be directed at you. You’re wasting so much energy on developing avoidance strategies. How to avoid talking to someone. How to avoid answering your phone. How to avoid having to ask if the book you need is available. When you walk all you do is stare at the ground in order to avoid seeing how people look at you. You are literally more afraid of making mistakes than anything else, because all you’ve learned as a child was having to be perfect at something the first time you do it, and not being allowed to let out your feelings. You’re afraid everybody is going to laugh at you and to make fun of you if you, only for one second, drop your mask and stop trying to be perfect, and this is where your nightmares come from, but you are allowed to fail, you don’t have to be perfect all the time, you are allowed to show your feelings, and you are good the way you are. Girl, you’re enough.
I’m trying so hard to find a reason to hold on, something to cling to; I just can’t…